Things I’d Buy if I Had the Money

  1. the rights to Parks and Recreation so I could bring that show back on air
  2. a lifetime supply of all my favorite foods
  3. all those books I’ve been meaning to read but keep putting back on the shelf because Barnes and Noble thinks it’s acceptable to charge me $30 for a paperback
  4. whatever I need to buy to save the bees
  5. this completely impractical but undeniably amazing bean bag couch bed thing
  6. an infinity pool
  7. all of facebook
  8. everything in all of my amazon wishlists
  9. all of amazon

And finally
10. a time machine to fast forward through the remainder of this hellscape of a presidential election




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